


Leave It As Memories, Now Or Never

by taegiradar



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Bang Chan is Whipped, Bang Chan-centric, Feelings, Happy 2 Years Stay!, Introspection, No Ships Just Feelings, Not Beta Read, One Shot, Self-Indulgent, bang chan loves stays, im sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-31
Updated: 2020-07-31
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:55:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25632433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taegiradar/pseuds/taegiradar
Summary: After months and months of waiting, they're finally back on the stage.And as Haven plays in the background, Chan reflects.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 24





	Leave It As Memories, Now Or Never

If you had a chance to go back in time, would you change anything?

Chan thought about this a lot.

Because, would he?

Chan looks into the crowd. He sees smiling faces, full of pure fucking joy. Like nothing in the world worries them anymore. Like the weight on their shoulders have disappeared, at least just for this moment.

Chan looks at the blinding lights. The confetti in the air is backlit, making it seem like snow falling from the sky. Like it's a cold night in December, but one where you are surrounded by love, warmth - and your family.

His family. He looks at the members in front of him, singing their hearts out. They dance around, commanding the stage like they were made for it. Like they were made to be highlighted by the bright spotlight. Made to be loved. They are surrounded by the kind of happiness that seems untouchable. Like if Chan tried to hold it, everything would break.

So he doesn't.

Chan kind of feels like crying. He doesn't want to, though. He doesn't want this view, this _dream_ , to be blurred by tears. He wants to remember this day by heart, to be able to close his eyes at night and have this exact sight pop into his head. He wants this view to be the reminder of _why_ he does this. Of why he goes through so much shit. Of why he stays.

So, Chan smiles instead. He smiles, and his cheeks start to hurt because _fuck_ \- he hasn't smiled this much in so long. He hasn't been this happy in so long. It settles in his heart, right at that moment. That he can feel this unrelenting joy, no matter how dark everything can feel at times. No matter how far he thinks he has fallen, he can always - _always_ , get back up to the top.

He sings his final lines, and they say their goodbyes. He waves at everyone, hoping somehow his love and gratefulness for every single person in the crowd is relayed. They don't want to go, not when it feels like they just got on the stage, but the lights are dimming and the music is fading.

"See you later, STAY!" Chan smiles. It's not an actual goodbye - it won't be, for a very very long time.

They exit the stage, do their final wrap up, and pile into the van, happy to head home.

The kids are still filled with overwhelming energy, chatting away excitedly. Chan looks out the window, watching as streetlights pass by, and the calmness of the night slowly seeps in.

It hits him, then. Harder than ever before.

He's so fucking proud of them. Of Stray Kids.

They have been through hell, multiple times. They have gone through the unimaginable, hardships a very small pool of people can ever relate to. They have been through so fucking much, but they're here. His kids, his family - they're all still here, and stronger than ever.

Chan smiles as he feels the invisible string tightening. A single golden string, tying him with the 7 other boys around him. The warmth that overtakes him brings him the greatest comfort that he would never trade for the world.

Chan looks at the smiling faces in front of him, and he makes up his mind.

He wouldn't.

He wouldn't change a single thing.

**Author's Note:**

> happy 2 Years STAYYYY! wrote this at 12am after watching the haven mv and while listening to folklore. i can't wait to see the kids up on stage again, and thank you all for the past 2 years. let's continue to stay.
> 
> say hi on twitter! @eternitytrack


End file.
